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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Monster cock for a brown bunny torrent
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Elavil uses interstitial cystitis
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Link between zetia and crohn\'s disease
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30/(Mon) 00:22
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